Cheer up your vocabulary under the covers

In these times of confinement, I finally have time to write to you and I also wanted to bring you some distraction. I’ve taken up your various emails and comments to find some material. At the same time last year, I tried to put some poetry in your underwear. Many of you have sent me the nickname of your third member. So I decided to take up your proposals in order to make a very friendly list, which gave me a strange idea for a future book, but I will talk to you about it when the time comes.

As a french singer Pierre Perret sang so well in his famous track “Zizi”, we will “plant the decor of the male apparatus first”… but we’re going to focus on the “little thing” and leave the “two orphans” out for now. And in this area, gentlemen, you have not disappointed me. There is no shortage of words for the penis, or the rod (know that the term «phallus» is reserved exclusively for the erect penis). Your creativity and imagination have given me a lot of surprises and I want to thank you for the fun bars I had when compiling them.

I think some of them are a little over-sized, but I haven’t seen of you all in the simplest apparatus, so in doubt, I’m not going to pin you down, except one of you and he’ll recognize himself. You can’t say you have an anaconda in your underwear with the maggot that you have between your legs… Girls aren’t looking for a tire iron, just that you know how to use it properly to get them to seventh heaven… Quality prevails over quantity even in this field… A word to the wise is sufficient…

At the pet store

– the tail

– the wolf

– the pawless rat

– the royal cobra

– the snake

– le boa

– the anaconda

– the head of python

– the beast (Want to scare these ladies with this nickname? )

– the earthworm

– the monkey

– the stinger

– the lizard

– the monster

– the colossus (I think it’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever received in this category)

‘My Tyrex’ (Do you go back to childhood?)

– my Kraken

– my dragon

I can tell you that this is the category of the most boastful of you— The disappointment is often great when you’re faced with a worm waiting for an anaconda. I say that, I say nothing—

In the DIY department

– the pipe

– the fire hose (it is true that we sometimes have the fire somewhere and that we have to put it out. Thank you, firefighters)

– the tool

– the utensil (I feel like I’m in the kitchen, not very sexy, though maybe?)

– the tube

– the device

– the sleeve

– the pencil

– the wick

– the match (be careful that it does not turn off at the slightest breath on it)

– the stake

– the stake

– the rod

– the tap

– the option

– the crutch

– the brush

– the brush

– the pole

– the beam with its variants, the plank, the column and the cantilever.

– the engine and its accessories such as the connecting rod, piston or cylinder

– the pleasure pump (very poetic)

– the research head

– radar (sent by a gendarme…)

– the jackhammer

– the dismantler (not much of a salesman in my opinion) and his sidekick, the chiseling machine.

In the culinary department

– the noodle

– the sausage

– the carrot

– the cucumber

– the wand

– the dummy

– the boudin

– the eggplant

– the leek

– the nem

– the banana

– the seed (thank you Quebecers)

– The Sauciflard

– The Meat Stick

And you thought that was it, and no! I have five more pages for you to enjoy… so I’ll see you tomorrow to go to exotic places.


La Puce

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